Fifteen Pages

If Only..

Most of us, at some time or other in their lives would have come across this..
For sure...

"If only I could turn back time... I would blah blah blah...."

I had the same feeling today.
Not coz someone gave a high end philosophical gyaan..
Not coz I was part of some high intensity "save the world" campaign...

All it took was 15 pages of a text to shake my entire existence..
FIFTEEN PAGES...

Thats it..

All my life I was happy and content doing things which no one did (Read Newton and Einstein)
All my life I was happy and content being part of the fraternity who make things better (Read Edison and Bell)

I was happy..
I was content...

Then the inevitable happened..

15 pages..
1 hour...

Thats all it took to shrugg off the beliefs of 26 years..
Thats all it took to make me think..
Thats all it took to make me realize theres life outside Galileo, Schrodinger, Diodes, Transistors..
In fact, thats all it took to make me realize that everything outside them is INDEED LIFE.

Why the hell would I like to know who made the black and white TV color?
I would be more happy, if someone could tell me, why my dad still owns a black and white?????

He very well knows the efforts and pains of making black-white into eastman color.
Who knows he might be the part of the research team also..

But at the end of the day, I still see 2 colors on my 14 inch idiot box.
Why wouldnt my dad HAVE something he made himself???

U know why?

Coz he cant afford it..
Thats all...

No amount of current in a resistor or energy in a capacitor could explain me this simple fact for ages..
No momentum or acceleration could explain why I drank milk without bournvita..
No gravitation or magnetism could explain why I went school walking while others had cycles..

Seven and a half years, I did something only coz everyone else around was doing the same..
Much like a toad in a well, I failed to see other aspects of life..
Had not been for those 15 pages, I would still be living in the myth that life is ONLY about technology..
Had not been for those 15 pages, I would still be living in the myth that my life is about the decisions I MADE.

Today I feel like going back in time and undo the decisions that shaped my life thus far..
It makes much more sense..
It looks more realistic than ever..

(How different/better/worse life would have been is still a topic of debate which has been ignored for obvious reasons :) )

Today, the logic behind "You win some, you loose some" makes more sense than the debate over light being particle or wave..

Simple observations..
Simple correlations..
Simple facts..

And you realize, why your mom wants to reach the vegetable market before anyone else..
And you realize, why your dad would not take you out on summer vacations..
And you realize, the trade off in leaving a well settled job and jump into education in such recession..
And you realize, the decisions in life are rarely black and white but have shades of grey..

And above all, you realize that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH.