DISCLAIMER : I AM IN NO MOOD TO WRITE TODAY. JUST TO KEEP UP WITH
THE RESOLUTION, POSTING SOMETHING WHICH WAS
WRITTEN SOMETIME LAST YEAR... LETHARGY AT ITS BEST YOU CAN SAY BUT ANYTHING TO KEEP
FROM LOOSING YET ANOTHER RESOLUTION... ;) :)I was so sure I wanted to be a singer.
Nothing was going to change my mind.
My family approved Totally.
Then my cousin, whom I idolised (then, not now), became an engineer.
That did it.
I followed suit.
The 4 years in college made me realize the decision to change dreams was the best.
During placements, after a dozen interviews, where I had close encounters with the inflated egos of other software professionals, I managed to get myself a job also.
I think my success at landing the job lay solely in my ability to look most interested as the guys interviewing me spoke blatantly about their lives and the deals they clinched.
My new life had begun.
Microland Bangalore: The hot new destination for the UP ka Bhaiyya.
I soon discovered that I did not land myself a job but a 24/7 personality referred to as the NE.
I am like a doctor on call but without a purpose.
My day typically starts by waking up early morning to chat with a client in Hong Kong.
And at times I end the day staying up all night to chat with the one from US.
In between, my life is interspersed with mundane tasks of making N number of calls to vendors and clients with miniscule details on Electronic Engineering.
NEs also excel in MS excel and outlook. Whether its a prospectus for modem reset or whatever deal, I had to ensure that the grammar is accurate and the language legally perfect. I have to scrutinise every word and then make hundreds of spell checks (alright, I am exaggerating, but only slightly).
There are periods when I managed to catch just four hours of sleep daily.
What I love about the job is the breaks.
What I hate about the job is the appraisals
Let me tell you something about it
On papers, it can be breathtakingly inflated figure.
To get it, you have to do two things.
The first: Work like a dog to contribute to the SLAs.
If you are passionate about teamwork, ML is certainly not the place for you.
It is more of a dog-eat-dog culture. You are on your own.
Since you are paid according to the tickets you work upon, it works out to be a very individualistic environment with everyone jockeying for a large slice of the bonus cake.
The second: Suck up to your boss.
That's right. Be a sycophant, even if he is insufferable.
Smile at him.
Say the right things.
Nod when he makes a good point.
Don't disagree too much when he does not.
Grovel at his feet.
Your appraisal is not going to be calculated according to some predetermined formula.
It is solely dependent on your boss' whims and fancies.
I'm sorry, but...
After my first year, I looked forward to the appraisal with glee.
I was the 'hot new kid' on the block after all.
One morning, my boss calls me and tells me that I am being transferred. I would be reporting to a new guy in his place. Come bonus time, the 'new guy' calls me in for a chat.
"I believe you have done really well in the past year," he starts.
I liked that beginning.
"Unfortunately, since you are new to
THIS site, it would not be fair for me to rate you on basis of perfomrance on the previous project ." (Warning bells began clanging in my head.)
"So I am afraid, all bonuses are going to be equal this year."
I headed to the nearest pub to drown my sorrows.
The following year, I was totally demotivated (can you blame me?). Subsequently, I did not contribute much
Come appraisal time, he pompously tells me that he cannot give me a huge appraisal since I did not work as well as was reported earlier.
Hit the pub again.
If that still sounds cool, consider yourself walking around like a zombie most of the time, looking at the bright monday morning sun, even though your biological clock frantically tries to adjust as if it has crossed three time zones in two days.
Has anyone seen my social life?
The ridiculous working hours ensured that my social life is a memory of the past.
It dropped in direct proportion to my appraisals.
Moreover, there is no one interesting in office to hang around with now.
In fact, the first thing that hit me when I walked into the office the other morning was the negligible amount of women.
Where are the women??
Did ML no more hire women???????
The office is full of men.
All types.
The young, the balding, the paunchy relics.
So, when my school friend invited me to his wive's birthday bash, I jumped at it.
Finally, I cornered a nice girl. "Hi, My name's Ashish. I'm a NE."
"How nice," was her retort.
That's it????? How nice???????????
Obviously, she had no idea who (or what) a NE is.
Later, I was told this was one of the worst pick-up lines in the world.
After a fairly disastrous attempt at polite conversation, I was kind of relieved my friend sauntered over to join us.
"I'm a software prosessional," was all he had to say to get the glint in her eyes.
"Wow! That's so cool! Your job must be so exciting!"
Hell! Why did I take this job?
Does that mean I quit?
Will I come back tomorrow morning?
I think so (have not figured out what else to do).
After all, the paycheck makes up for the crap...
